Sincerity

Ahaks! Again..it's been almost a year! since my last update..sorry blog for keeping u covered with spiderwebs! hahaha! I decided to continue blogging..and hope will continue..

Today, I've a story to tell..a simple event that has left me quite a deep mark that made me reflect on many things...to be aware and more thankful for things that happen in life.

7.45pm, I was still waiting at the bus stop for the bus to go home. Trying to control the shiver due to cold winds from the heavy rain, my mind got carried away thinking - flight tickets bought ok that's settled; hotels to book soon, which hotel?what price?; what's for menu?how many people are coming?; how to move on with the last bit of the program i finished earlier today? what to present for this week's discussion..zillion others came by and went off within split seconds..

7.47pm, the Brighton & Hove bus finally approach the bus stop, I felt relieved - that I didn't have to be in the cold longer than expected and that I'd reach home very soon to prepare food for tonite's dinner. Work early in the morning added with a good number of booked appointments due to the beginning of new student intake; complete focus on research work and further decision-based thinking left me almost drained for the day. Not allowing the mind to blame myself not returning home earlier, I quickly got on the bus. Normally seated upstairs, somehow..I decided to seat downstairs, got myself seated somewhere in the middle of the bus. As the bus moved, I gazed around looking at people around, there were not many and my gaze stopped at an elderly man(perhaps in his 60s) who was also looking directly at me, I nodded and exchange a smile.

Looking outside the window in the dusk, my mind continue to generate..2 things were in mind.."what's for breaking fast?"- it's only a few minutes away from Maghrib and the tummy's been grumbling seeking for attention!, but a more interesting question kept bugging me.."am i really lucky?" - a question pondered over the line I was told by a friend that "i have always been" a while before leaving school. A question that I have missed to pay careful attention long time ago that would definitely made me become a more thankful human being so long ago..

While making every mindful effort not to fall into deep thinking with more questions, my eyes catched the elderly man who was staring at me while occasionally looking out the window suddenly stood up and walked to his groceries bag located at the front part of the bus, ic..he just did his groceries..hmm..lots of food..at that instance, I thought..hmm..wouldn't it be nice if I were to have at least a bar of choc in my bag to break fast.. It was already the time for breaking fast, but had nothing to munch, it wouldn't be long to reach home..I thought. Out of sudden, the man approached me with a smile and handed me a bar of an unopened sainsbury's choc bar, apart from giving it away to two other girls who got in the bus at the same as I did. I was staggered! whut?! Never has it occured to me for 1 and half years ago to receive anything at such a spontaneous scenario in the Brighton and Hove bus! The other girls were confused and shocked too. That left me speechless that I was almost unable to say out a simple thank you, although a bit shaky..i did say it out and a smile in return once again left me disoriented..but somehow..I felt a gush of relieve that I had something to break fast as the clock was approaching 8pm. Blanky, I twist and turn the choc bar....unknowingly whether I should eat or leave it...I've never trusted, never dared to eat any form of food given by strangers but strangely..I felt this one is an exceptional..Somehow, a mutual trust/agreement exist between myself and the elderly man who handed me the choc. It's as if he knew that I was supposed to be breaking fast and didn't have anything to eat, thus gave me the bar. Whether or not it was correct, that was my final conclusion.

I then open the bar and ate almost all of them while not trying to look at the man but realized (from a brief glance) that he felt relieved too for doing a small favour which meant extremely huge to another human being(me!). From his expression, I could read that he was glad for handing over a piece of food to me. At that point of time, the question I was thinking about previous to that struck my mind again..this time with an answer .."yes, i have ALWAYS been very lucky"...from the day I first took my breath, I have always been very very lucky but have failed to realize to be very very thankful until today when a stranger did something common but left me to realize many things. He stopped 2 stations before me and I managed to whisper thank you before he left the bus, and saw him nodding happily with a big wave while looking at me through the window as the bus moved. Knowing the fact that a stanger actually offered me help(which I consider sincere), I was close to tears.

I couldnt hold it any longer as I got off the bus. Tears fell through my cheeks as how it rained earlier today. It wasn't because of being emotional, but because of being extremely thankful for god's creation..for the feeling of pity, humanity, sincerity and a whole lot of endless list. It marks me most to realize that I have always been lucky in many sense - to have a loving mother who never fails to pray for me, to be nagged so that I become a better human, to have a wonderful family whom without fail are always there for me, to have a constant good academic background that I never completely understand to value, to love and be loved, to be surrounded and always be supported by real friends and most of all to realize that being humble and sincere will guide u through to become a better person..all of which are my pillars of strength which I have ALWAYS taken for granted by not caring enough...

Today's experience wasn't a new one to me..I didn't learn new lessons, but it has tremendously strenghtened my views on a few things :

1. When helping others, help with a full since heart as that's what you'll get in return. You may get the same in a near future or it may be in many years to come. Perhaps not from the same person, perhaps a stranger..just as what has happened to me. It feels extraordinarily relieved when somebody offers help at the time u need the most. After all, you get what you give...
2. At times, trust and follow your instinct as you never know if it will bring you to the unexpected... (I wouldn't get this experience if I were to return home early or were to sit upstairs!)
3. It's actually more than luck when u feel that u've been lucky... It's actually effort that makes the luck to happen...I learn my lesson.

Thank you for coming to the end of this unintended essay!

A year has passed...

29th December 2008, today..is exactly a year since I lay my foot in the Great Britain. Wow..can't believe I'm already 12months living in another part of the world. Felt like it was only yesterday that I was busy preparing myself for the (I thought) long stay I've to bear with until my studies finish. But hey, after a year..i now feel time is ticking way too fast! huhuu..

Today, but last year...I could still recall family,relatives and friends sending me off at the airport with so much hopes and good luck wishes; thinking bout the million possibilities awaiting me during the endless journey in flight with even more questions in mind as the plane touches the ground of the completely (somewhat) new place in my life...and the next episode of my life begins...

A year in the UK has passed(so quickly). It's of course so much to say about what I've faced, what I've learned, where I've been, what I've done - well..everyone does. Perhaps, no one really wants to read the tales of a normal person. But, what I'd like to share is..I'm glad that I got myself into all the things that's happened to me for the past one year, a point which directed me to the meaning of independent(apart from others) in (very much) many aspects of life which (I hope) would result to a better me. Well, at least for now..I'm happy with myself but always hope to be not perfect but better(in if possible everything - although I know it's technically quite impossible) tomorrow, subsequently the following years.

Just 12months back, on this same day..I was at my cousin's house after a long 12hours journey from my home country. And now, 12 months later at 12am, I'm back here at his house for a short break from my studies. It feels good to have relatives around for a new year celebration. ;) Perhaps, I should be back again next year even if they're no longer here. O yes, it's also a coincidence that the new year is approaching soon, the year is celebrating its birthday again, for the 2009th. I wonder what's awaiting me in the coming year, let the new diary opens its page..

Another shopping day

This evening we went to Nottingham's shopping area, can't recall what it's called. But what I can clearly recall is that it has a great deal of interesting outlets..Next, Dunelm, TkMaxx, DP, Miss Selfridge, many more. It's a shame the daytime is shorter this time of the year, thanks to winter! Hence, back home early. But hey, our visit didn't end there..

We then went to Loughborough town. Could still recall, almost a year ago..I was so fascinated with High Street areas in England when I first visited the town's shopping area after arrival. Today, the memories were drawn together reminding me how fast time passes by. We went to a few shops, returned the clothings I didn't want back to Next, went to Primark, had hot drinks at Costa, continued our mission at Home Bargains for cheap home stuff before heading back home for a delicious Mee Hailam!

Boxing Day

It's the sale of year! 26th December 2008, the day when shoppers go mad! It's Boxing Day, a well known day (after Christmas) where shops and outlets cut down prices up to 70- 90% purely for their beloved customers, taking me as an example..(blink,blink). Together with my cousin and his wife, all of us went to York Designer Outlet, my shopping haven. with my recent visit to York, I am now left with 2 more out of 7 McArthurGlen's outlets in the UK that I always look forward to visit in the future(hopefully soon!).

So, what's so nice abt shopping during boxing day? Simple, things can be cheap for most well known labels. Back at home, it's just a dream to own designer's clothings such as M&S, Timberland, Gap, Polo and many more. But here during boxing day, prices of these labels can be as low as 5pounds! Another reason shopping can be fun. ;)

We were there just before the shops open their doors and were among the last to leave when shops were about to close their doors. Perfect. Among the things I bought : many clothes, chocs, cosmetics and many more to come..

Meals on Christmas

It's Christmas and shops are closed. Earlier this morning we had Sheperds Pie which I made. Tho it was a bit salty we finished it at one go. Better recipe has got to be considered in next attempt! A couple of my cousin's friends invited us for meals later in the evening. We went with empty tummies and had them filled with chicken meals - the first was 'Nasi Ayam' and the second was a Christmas meal - stuffed chicken served with crispy potatoes, honeyed carrots and it's related white vege cousin..parsnip, rice and chicken gravy..huhuuu! poor me! :/ But, all in all..it was a wonderful gathering. Can't wait for tomorrow's sale! hip hip hooray! ;)

Like A Princess..

Hi! I'm already at my cousin's place in the Midlands. Heeheee..feeling like a princess today. Since I arrived this evening, I've been so welcomed by this couple. My cousin's wife cooked 'Maghluba rice' for me, the arabic meal I've craved for a while now..as usual, I had almost 5 plates of the rice and it was yummy! :)) ..After that we watched tv, a means of entertainment I missed to appreciate 25 years ago! geez..Not very long after, my cousin surprised me with a gift! It was a Davidoff Perfume set, the one I've been eyeing on for ages but never actually bought them myself all this while. When I was still blooming happily, they once again made me felt like the luckiest person on earth by bringing in a homemade chocolate cake and my favourite drink, bandung sirap! how sweet.. *blink2, blush, blush*.. only then, i asked what all those were for, and the given answer was..my belated birthday celebration...sweet..thank you very much and i love u guys! muuuaax!

Christmas Gift

Today's the last day of of me at the university for this year! Tomorrow onwards, I'm off to my cousin's in the midlands (Loughborough) for a short break. heee..can't wait for the boxing day sale! wonder where's my cousin and wife are planning to bring me...the only hint i got was, "a special place"...hmm..it better be!

Speaking of special..I do feel special today..and why's that? Only one reason.. to my surprise..I got a Christmas present! nice..it's from my landlord's family. They're so thoughful and sweet! Didn't expect they'd surprise me with the pressie today as how they were went I sent up theirs yesterday. The gift nicely wrapped in a golden box were left on my dining table just before they went away for Christmas..anyhow, thanks very much to the family..To Gerard,Kirsten, Caitlin and Rowan, Have a wonderful Christmas and a great new year celebration! Love, Unaizah.

Day Off

today i had a completely day off from my normal routine - didnt cook and didnt think bout studies at all..felt like i had no responsibilities! light like a feather..heeheeee..it's sometimes a must to break the routine to stay in tune. pretty much like a warm reboot(restart) for a computer, albeit better than a crash, of course very much better than the blue screen of death!

so what did i do today? spent an entire day visiting friends. one of the important rules in life to keep one alive and sane! :) went to baizura and huda's palace in the middle of the town. did i tell u guys that u've a nice and cosy place to lepak2..these ppl are experts when it comes to cooking! we had soto daging and it was simply delicious! i ate like 7 or 8 times, gawd, unaizah! say a little prayer before eating..hmm..dont forget to share the recipe guys! the agenda was eating and chatting in alternate order..ideal one. it continued until nite when we decided to have pizza for dinner. we sent fahmi & shaiful to buy them fr a nearby all time favourite pizza restaurant for a buy 2 and get 1 free deal, but thanks to shaiful for the impressive pr that got us another free piece..heehee..all together we had 4 large pizzas for 6 stomachs- opps..i think including mine alone, i'd have to consider another 6! we had another ideal eating agenda..a totally makan2 day i call it.. ;) thanks to the host! muuuuaax!

Baked Fish for Dinner

heheee..i've a new creation today..foodie talk! had an english dinner tonite. thought of wanting a change of meal and am glad to find that my lemon parsley baked fish turned out quite good, though they can be improved. i've to admit that the english way of cooking is less hassle than the malay style. something to opt for during the busy times..good idea!

*psst : would u believe the portion shown in the pic is for this one person to consume?

PhD Blues :\

im so cranky!..right now im in a state where i'd call it phd blues..perhaps, only those who goes through this 'what have i got myself into' degree completely understand this situation..a state where regardless how much u're madly in love with ur work there comes a moment of uncertainty, unsatisfied, unexpected, unaware, unforeseen, unanticipated...an unfinished list of unss...UN!!! get out of thesee!! :p~ huhuuu..

apologies..this is the sort of feeling when u're stuck somewhere in the middle of doing research, when the data so much hoped for turned out to have low correlation! arrgh! no no! reality is real..yes my dear self..so..what shall i do? take a deep breath? already done so..eat? ate more than my normal consumption! sleep..hmm..wouldn't make much difference..i know..sit back and relax..and perhaps shopping would alleviate..yes..as much i'm into this, i believe motivation and support are the keys for almost any person in this state to stand and walk, possibly run further..time will heal.. ;) for now, indulge in this unwanted moment.. perhaps, just for now..a little music could help.

as i was browsing around, i came to finding this song..a specially dedicated one for all phd candidates in blues(jz like me) out there..enjoy!(unfortunately, u've to d/w to listen) here's the link : http://hcs.science.uva.nl/projects/il/blues/ credit goes to Frans Prins & Pascal Wilhelm!

Hari Raya Aidiladha 2008 @ Lewes

Hi again! what's today's story? hari raya aidiladha..yep, it's my first hari raya haji in a foreign country..the feeling is somewhat different from that celebrated in own country.tho,it wouldnt really be a massively celebrated event even if i were at home, i somehow felt a little strange not really feeling the aura of eid celebration i normally do all this while..hmm..guess, that's normal when u're far away from home..anyway..the previous raya haji wasnt as bad as i would have probably described! huhuu..it was actully quite fun! honestly speaking, i didnt feel lonely at all being here.

so what happened? well..i organized a sort of a dual event at my new home..a house warming party and hari raya aidiladha makan2..it was great that yong & family and arif came along to celebrate together. well..we kinda celebrated on the hari raya eve. guess that's fine. a number of invited guests were ppl from the lab, they were rossano, grecia, alberto, chris and hector..thanks guys for filling in the invitation! they've been wanting to try authentic malaysian food..apart from others, poor chris had to cope with burning toungue, thanks to the hot food! yes, aunthentic malaysian dishes they were..glad that they enjoyed the food..am also happy that my first attempt of making beef rendang came to great success!yippie! special thanks goes to arif for all help! thanks to yong for the kuah kacang(peanut sauce) and nasi himpit(according to yong, compressed rice!), we also had kerabu rocket, meehoon goreng,fried wonton,sambal goreng, fried vege & white rice..it was a marvellous feast! yuummiee..we then played monopoly - the brighton & hove edition..nice one..

The Return of Un

hello world! wahaha! gawd..it's been ages since my last update on this poor bloggie. i almost forgot that i had one! geez..blame the hectic life..well..ok, shouldnt be it as a reason. ok, enuf bout it..now, let's get to the updates..hmmm..so much actually. been hundreds of ups and downs since the last entry. all i can recall, my tenancy on campus accommodation ended, managed to get myself a job on campus - aah, loved it! had a marvellous hari raya..dearest tomet was actually around for the celebration!he's now back home,always busy with work..poor thing!nvm..work hard! started 2nd year of my phd which now reminds me that i've only 2 years left!arrrgh!..hmm, what else..yeah..something more recent, i turned 26years old 16 days ago..thank god for another year of happy and healthy life..may future years be more meaningful for myself and ppl around..huhuu, sounds philosophical!haha..

ok, more interesting story, i finally managed to get my own place to live to shelter me for the coming years during my stay here as a student..honestly speaking, i am so in love with this flat which i've now lived for 2 weeks! yippiiiee! considering for a one person place and speaking of houses in the great britain in addition to it being in brighton, i am so so lucky to find this place for a reasonable price of rent. a spacious, lovely, comfortable and many best things i can think of, this house surely, does give me peace of mind and soul! havent got the chance to snap photos, but promise will do so soon! o yes, i'd like to take this opportunity to thank the sussex clan for the moving...u guys are the best! to yong and family and also arif, yea fahmi too, thanks so much for the extended help! to afzan & k izzah, thank you for having me while i was homeless! heeehee..aight, gotta get back to the data analysis but will be back with more updates..ciow cincau!

A day at Brighton

Hey hey! Another day is dedicated for relaxing..geez! Been having fun a great deal of time here! oh..not good..So what's happened today? Well, I had a day out with a couple of new friends at Brighton.

These people who are friends of my uni friend came from London. Most of them are Phd students studying at Imperial and King's College..very young and intelligent people! Most are doing biology related courses. When first met,I thought those peeps were undergrads! Awet muda! There were 9 one them. The uni friend of mine, Ghows and myself were the host and brought them to Brighton Marina, our uni, Bighton Pier. Eventhough I've been here for almost 3months now, it's only yesterday that I discovered new places(tho they're obvious) at Brighton! Yes, yes..I should be blamed for not knowing these places in advance, but hey..i've visited other places! (heee..in hope for a good excuse).

The weather was unpredictable..it was gloomy,windy,raining,snowing and the day ended with a great sunny evening! Were we consired lucky? Maybe, considering we had 4-season in a day! It's strange to get snow during spring when you should see flowers blooming.

We spent 7 hours walking around. They were most fascinated by the sea which reminded myself when I was small (until now!). Felt like I was the one visiting when snaping photos around..hehee..

Snow during Spring

I can't believe it! No wonder it was really cold today! It is snowing!! Yippie! For the first time in my life, I'm looking at real snow falling out my windows..but it's already dark, cant snap lots of photos..I heard that it's not easy to get snow in Brighton as it's supposed to be the warmest region in the UK. Isn't it strange getting snow during spring when flowers should bloom? The weather in the UK is totally unpredictable..

Evening snack

Uh..it's a totally boring day today...the heater isnt working, im shivering as a scared mouse! it's really cold right now..i wonder when the heater is gonna work back to normal..i hated the heat so much back in Mesia but right now, I'm begging and feel like paying for heat! hehee..

According to myself, as an alternative to prevent prolong shivering..the best thing to do is to eat without stop! Aah, i love eating. I been eating so much since morning..maybe I had a short pit stop. I had sweet potatoes, cereals, rice, fruits, juice, yogurt, crackers, chips and now I'm having tea (but without actually drinking tea). Thought of having something different and here I created something tempting but not so good for health. I call it Cheesy Nachos..But, hey..it's easy to prepare...the ingredients are - nachos, mozarella cheese, onions, ripe tomatoes, corriander and a sprinkle of herbs..mix them together and medium bake for 10mins and walla..here's the results..

Arundel Castle & Littlehampton

It's a bright sunny day today! Yippie! A couple of friends and myself made a day's trip to a place in West Sussex called Arundle Castle and Littlehampton. The Arundel Castle is so huge and beautiful! We had so much fun discovering the castle itself, there were magnificent architecture, fine interior with fascinating furnitures, tapestries and rare collections of paintings, rich history of the Dukes of Norfork, well groomed gardens and so much more. We could see the beauitful download in the South England and out to the sea from the top of the Keep (like a tower). It's amazing to know that although the castle looks old, it is still a home to the ancestors of the Dukes of Norfork since the past 900years!

We had a picnic by the sea at a near by place called Littlehampton. It got really windy while having lunch. We were shivering! But, it's a nice place and great location for playing kites which makes a helicopter sound due to the strong wind.

Another happy year

It's 19th March 2008! Yippie! Another year of hopefully stronger and closer relationship between me and Tomet! On this exact date, we've now been together for 4 years since knowing each other 8 years ago. =)

Can't believe how time got us this far,bless god! All ups and downs througout the friendship which then grew to a relationship that represents further commitment taught me abt sincerity, trust, forgiveness, gratitude, bond, support...a few examples of my endless list. My hope is to have brighter future together! All best wishes for us!

Worse and humiliating

heyya..don't know why, as i surf i coincidently approach sites which directs me to the worse of stuff like fashion and names..but found these amusing (in a way). A good approach to release stress i thought!

1st site, I came across about weird runaway looks..like rubbish can lid on top of head, discoball hat, one eye brow which connects both left and right brow, a nest-like hair style, uhh..endless! check it out at http://www.stylelist.com/ Poor models! I doubt they like it very much, guess models can't choose to look nice all the time..heheheee! here's a snapshot taken from the website above..

2nd site is about weird names given to babies...even worse! They've to carry such embarrasment for life..gosh, i can't imagine..the names are adopted from

• diseases(e.g: Hysteria Johnson , Cholera Priest, Kathryn E. Coli);
• food(e.g: Lunch Magee, Bread White, Plum Sellers, Mayo Head);
• sins(e.g: Wrath Gordon, Envy Burger, Pride Saint);
• professions(e.g: Cook Cook, Doctor Love, Gamble Moore);
• uncommon celebrities babies names are also listed (e.g :Apple, Kyd, Pilot Inspektor)

To parents...please have some mercy! There're more names listed at the website at http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23631411/?GT1=43001&pg=1#TDY_Names_Bad . Check them out!

3rd site is..i dunno what to say..crazy maybe..it's about this lady who sits in her boyfriend's toilet for 2 years! without leaving the bathroom..unbelievable..yea..i couldnt as well, but after reading the story at http://news.aol.com/story/_a/woman-stuck-in-bathroom-for-how-long/20080313080209990001 , i guess it is really true..The woman has a phobia leaving the toilet, so she sits on it all the time. It's just recently(5days ago) that she's been transported to the hospital by the authority after the boyfriend finally calls the police after she acted groggy! Geez..I think both of them have got some judgement problems. At the end of the story found at link above says that everyday the bf would try to convince her to leave toilet, but her reply was "Maybe tomorrow.." ..heheheeee!

More weird stories can be found at http://news.aol.com/weird-news . Among them are Illinois shape cornflakes up for auction at eBay where the bid is currently $500! ; there's also a flying saucer shape house in Tenneessee(maybe the owner had a passion for aliens or ufos); 800 dogs in a mobile house (gawd, i cant imagine!)...uhuuu..i shall stop..otherwise, i might be contributing to these weird stories...

Malaysian dinner menu

It's a wet day all day long..Felt really lazy fr morning until nite! Geez..not good! The laziness of me doing things included cooking. Only had tortillas earlier on and only managed to get myself moving around for dinner preparation around 9pm..late dinner, thanks to lazy me!

Luckily i didnt stop cooking halfway through! hehehe..yippie, food's cooked and I'm now having dinner. Somehow, I craved for 'ikan bakar'!(grill fish). Couldnt get the type of fishes in M'sia so i came with my own style of cooking and here i present my dinner menu for tonite - ikan bakar with air asam (tamarind sauce), fried mixed vege and white rice.

BarCamp Brighton2

howdy! how's it going on? i had a full of informative day today..how and why? well, i went for this event called BarCamp Brighton2 . It's a free 2 days event where 'computing' people from different level(e.g : developers, designers, games geeks, programmers, researchers, etc) gather around to share ideas and experiences on techninal and non-technical computing stuff. The idea of barcamp is that, the organizer responsible for getting sponsors like yahoo, amazon, madgex, microsoft, cogapp, realtimewords wouldn't actually setup any program for the event..but the attendees will..so, only when u show up on that day that ppl start picking up slots for a half n hour presentation on practically any topic! So, there u'll get diverse discussions ranging from ease of mind to mind bloggings topics! These run simultaneously in several rooms over the entire day.

The one i attended today and tomorrow is organized on campus at Falmer House. They're so many technie ppl, some fr amazon, yahoo, cogapps and many other leading companies! Though i don't much abt these technical stuff, but it's great to know their existence and capabilities..I might consider using them when needed. I learnt quite a lot from today's event alone..lemme list a quick recap on what talks/workshop I found interesting :

1. Accessibile Javascript : a bit programming tips and tricks
2. Twitter : status sharing program, kinda cool -(check it out below)
3. How to express yourself clearly : did a workshop and a small scale practical exercises
4. Widgets : intros to widgets and a bit abt creative thinking (interesting presentation!)
5. Second life : virtual reality environment

So, what am i getting from this event...a great deal of networking with ppl. I managed to make new friends, of young and not so young but very successful ppl! I'm so impressed with what they do. It's interesting knowing what ppl from various levels and expertise are working on. This has, somehow set me a stronger focus and motivation on the type of work I'm currently doing. Yippie!

Before signing off, here are some pics and vids of the things I said earlier on..